Chapter 23

Episode 23: I Want To Leave You

After a brief confrontation, Raymond smiled briefly.

“Yes, you didn’t cry.”

A low-pitched voice scratched her ear.

“However, Chloe.”

I breathed in and stopped as the hand caressed my face.

“If you need my help to be happy, tell me anything.”

The unexpected words confused me. Happiness. To me. What do you mean?

“Will you refuse that?”

“…No.”

His fingertips, which were slowly moving away, caught my attention.

“Good.”

Raymond then grinned, as if satisfied.

“I hope we can be together at lunch.”

After thinking about something for a moment, he frowned and added.

“I had to eat breakfast with my brother because you didn’t come, it wasn’t a very pleasant situation.”

For a very brief moment, I thought of the two of them sitting face to face without saying a word, it was quite an unsuitable combination.

Still, in the past timeline, they looked like brothers who were friendly on the outside, but there was a subtle tension between them now. Perhaps it was because Kailos sent Raymond’s carriage back once.

“See you later, Chloe.”

Raymond said as he went back, as if he had no other purpose. Left behind, I stood there blankly for a while.

* * *

Happiness, my happiness…….

Raymond’s words lingered in my head on my way to meet Kailos.

I don’t know happiness. I know joy and pleasure, but I don’t know happiness.

When I had to grow up as bait to seduce Raymond for Kailos, everything for him was my joy, but happiness was never known. For him, what filled my heart was a bitter pain that spread with joy.

I thought of my little Estelle, who was in my arms and left in a very short time. I thought about the first time I met the child, and when I finally accepted the warmth that came to me without turning away.

Estelle was the only one who gave me joy. Perhaps happiness is similar to that small child.

“Lady Garnet, you’re up! Are you feeling okay?”

Erikson, the butler, walking from the other side, spoke to me as if he was glad to find me.

“Good morning, Erikson.”

It was very late in the morning, but I didn’t want to add anything else. Erikson didn’t mind me and smiled.

“Are you on the way to see the master?”

“Yes.”

He was visibly pleased with my answer.

“The master was very worried because Lady Garnet didn’t come out for breakfast. I’ve never seen such a desolate breakfast.”

“What happened?”

“It was just that the lady didn’t come, the atmosphere between the master and His Majesty was absurd. In the end, the master got up first, I think he was very upset.”

“Where is my uncle?”

“He’s been in the office since breakfast and hasn’t come out. Lady Garnet, can you comfort him?”

Erikson looked at me with a look full of expectations. I felt a little burdened with that gaze. Instead of answering, I nodded once and turned around.

At some point, we arrived at Kailos’ office. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I knocked on the door one more time and waited for his answer, it was still quiet.

I sighed briefly and put my hand on the doorknob. Those who were guarding the door looked at me with anxious eyes, but I lightly ignored them and turned the door knob.

“I told you not to let anyone in.”

When I opened the door, a gloomy rebuke spread into the desolate air.

“It’s me.”

“……!”

He, who was looking only at the sheet of paper lying on the desk the whole time, suddenly raised his head.

“Chloe…..!”

His voice calling my name was trembling.

“…….”

“…….”

As I stood quietly by the doorway without saying a word, he looked up at my face in silence. I didn’t like his haggard look. He didn’t have anything to lose, and it felt like he was pretending to be hard like me.

“Do you want to come inside?”

He asked in a calm voice, and I nodded and took a step inward. As I looked around, unlike his usual personality, his office was messy.

“It’s a little… It’s because it’s the new year, I have a lot of work to do.”

I could feel him glancing at me, but it was none of my business how well his office was arranged.

“I have something to tell you.”

“Yes, anything.”

Standing slowly from his seat, he leaned against the desk and pointed me to the sofa and beckoned me to sit down. But I didn’t want to drag the conversation with him for a long time, so I stood there and brought up my business.

“I’m going to leave the Duchy.”

“What……?”

At that moment, he moved his body and asked me. The wind blew the documents sticking out on the desk, the papers fell to the floor like water, but neither of us paid attention to them,

“I want to leave. Let me go.”

“Right now,…What does this mean?”

With a bloody face, Kailos asked me.

“It doesn’t make sense for me to stay with you.”

“How come?”

I was reflected in his blurry eyes. In those eyes, I looked much calmer than I thought.

“I don’t think it makes more sense for you to leave me.”

Kailos, who slowly approached me, spoke calmly as if trying to persuade me, but in a voice with an indescribable tremor.

“Doesn’t it make more sense for me to leave you?”

My eyes frowned slightly as I looked at him silently. I seriously thought for a moment that this man might have gone crazy.

He is a man who trampled on me and deceived me. I couldn’t say this without such a person going crazy.

“Think about it, Chloe. We’ve been together since you were very young. You had that kind of time and trust that you couldn’t share with others.”

“In the past, there was, but not now. You are the one who deceived me at that time and trust.….”

“Chloe.”

The low-pitched tone cut off my words. Suddenly, his black eyes changed color. I suddenly felt horrified by the dimly sinking gaze.

“What did the emperor say to you?”

“What?”

I couldn’t understand what he said for a moment, so I looked embarrassed.

“What, the man seduced you? Right, Chloe?

He interpreted my reaction and he snatched my waist angrily. Suddenly, my heart trembled and a vase dropped in the distance that I had gotten close to with the sudden movement.

“Other than that, there’s no way you’d suddenly say that. Say it, Chloe! What did the emperor say to you? Don’t tell me, he….”

Whenever he spoke, his breath touching my face felt disgusting. His arms around my waist, and his face pressed on my face that touches the tip of his nose. Everything was disgusting.

“Get out of my way!”

I pushed his chest away with all my strength. Kailos was pushed out with a vain look.

“Chloe…”

“It has nothing to do with His Majesty. I just want to leave you, Kailos.”

“…….”

“I told you, I hate you.”

The man, who had always looked down at me from a high place, was staring at me with a pale face that was about to die. The man had such a miserable face that I felt cruel without a handful of compassion.

“Chloe, please…”

Please don’t say that, the faint voice touched my ear perfectly.

Looking down at his face without saying a word for a while, he weighed on his lower lip. Was he originally a man who reveals himself this much? While contemplating, I shook my head.

Kailos was a man who was better at dealing with emotions than anyone else. Not only other people’s feelings, but also his own feelings. He loved even women he despised if necessary, and was a man who could show kindness to a dirty and insignificant young girl for a purpose.

So I was able to be indifferent to his face, which seemed to collapse right now.

“I hate you.”

“…yes.”

He smiled sadly and swept up his hair that flowed down his forehead.

“Deceive.. deceive, yes, if you think so, you’d be deceived. Then let’s say I deceived you. If you’re angry at me for that, I can accept it as much as you want. You can continue to hate and loathe me, but…you just can’t leave me.”

Hate and loathe but remain by your side, I couldn’t understand. He and I were never in a normal relationship. Being together is only poisonous to each other in the end.

‘Have you ever wished for my happiness?’

‘I wish now, like crazy.’

What I had been thinking all along came rushing through my complicated mind.

Happiness… My happiness……. Yes, maybe this was the last indulgence I could give to the man who took me out of that hell as a child.

“You said you want my happiness, right? Then let me go.”

His eyes trembling violently turned toward me. Kailos gritted his teeth and replied, “I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Please, Chloe. I’ll listen to everything. You can curse and hit me if you want. Hate, despise, and curse as much as you want, but not that one, just for you to not leave me.”

It felt like I was talking to the wall. No matter what I said, the only answer was ‘I can’t leave.’