50 Into The Woods I Go

I need to get away from them. I stubble away while holding my stomach with laughter and after a few minutes, the laughter finally dies off. I hold my stomach and groan, feeling like I need to throw up but I do my best to shake off the feeling and keep going.

I look down at my shirt and see pink dust all over me. I hold my breath and start brushing myself off as I keep walking but I can't help but marvel at the strange little mushrooms. They were alive... like little creatures. I think I remember my mom telling me old children stories with stuff like that...

When I hear something shuffling next to me, I jump back and freeze while looking in the direction of the noise but I don't see anything but bushes. I lightly cough and wave the pink dust away as I slowly start walking again but when I hear shuffling again, I stop.

Suddenly, I bright blue puffball of fuzz hits me straight in the face, knocking me clean over! I grab the thing and try to pull it away but it's tiny little fingers stick to me like tar! I manage to get back to my feet as I struggle to rip the thing off but it's holding on for dear life!

"Get. OFF!" I yell as I spin around and pull the damn thing but I run into a tree and fall on my ass as two more jump on me! I grunt and spin around, rolling through a bush or two as I struggle with all three of them but I can't get the damn things off!!

When I realize they aren't actually hurting me or anything, I pause and go limp as I struggle to catch my breath. I lay flat on my back as the three fluff balls continue to chill on my face, stomach, and the top of my head.

What kind of hellish nightmare is this!? When I finally catch my breath, I slowly stand up and begin pulling at the one on my face again. They keep making this weird cooing noise but otherwise, they don't do anything else.

I decide to use a little of my power and turn myself into a bug zapper again but they start cooing even louder as if they enjoy it! Starting to panic, I strain again and flail around like a crazy person until I trip and fall into something wet.

The strange fluffs of blue hiss at me and shoot out a cloud of blue crap before running away. I choke and spit the blue stuff out and squint through the crap to see that I'm in an odd purple puddle. At least it's warm...

"I feel like I'm traveling through a rainbow of horrors..." I mumble as I struggle to stand up but the stuff is extremely slippery. When I hear a loud 'splat' I look up to see a large animal taking a dump several feet away and when I see it's poo... I see that it's the same purple crap I'm currently in.

"AAHHHHH!!!!" I scream in torment and horror, scaring the strange elephant zebra looking thing. It takes off running, leaving me in its lovely pile of poop. I try to crawl but my hands threaten to slip out from under me and the thought of face-planting in this has me wanting to cry.

"Whyyyy!" I cry out and look around for something to grab. When I see a yellow vine on the ground next to me, I slowly begin shimming my way over on all fours. When I finally get close enough, I slowly raise my hand out of the purple poo and watch as it stretches like slime.

I grit my teeth and strain to grab the yellow vine of hope when I suddenly hear peals of tiny laughter. I look up in horror to see garden fairies!! "No no no no" I mumble as I try to quickly grab the vine but the ten of them work together to pull the vine just out of my reach.

They all laugh and point at me as I glare at them all with anger. "Please, push the vine to me..." I say through gritted teeth but they all start laughing again. They then start attacking me, stabbing me in the butt with sticks while others start pulling my hair.

"You hateful ass fairies!! I'm going to pluck off all your wings and stick you all in a barbie house made of plastic!!" I hiss out and swat at them but the movement causing me to slip and fall straight into the purple poo!

"Noooooo!!" I yell and sputter as I army crawl out of the poo but the damage was already done. I collapse face-first on the ground as the fairies continue to laugh and stab my butt with sticks. I feel my anger reaching a boiling point as I scream and leap up.

I use my magic to zap the fairies but they too fast! They zip back and forth, pulling my hair and stabbing me as I chase after them with magic flying from my fingertips. I trip and stumble straight through a bush and when I reach the other side, I come face to face with another elf!

I scream, he screams and all the fairies scream as all of us stare at each other. The fairies start laughing again as they all fly away leaving the male elf and I awkwardly staring at each other. He slowly looks me over before looking past me with wide eyes.

He looks at the woods I just came out of before looking back at me with unease. "You... went through the Enchanted Forest?" He asks with hesitancy. I slowly turn around and look at the woods before slowly turning back with a strained smile as I say "I guess I did... Can you tell me where I am?"

His silvery-green eyes widen with shock before he says "You're on the border between the Enchanted Forest and the Elven Empire. Your eyes... they're slightly blue... just like the Queen's. Who are you and where are you from?"

Queen? What's wrong with my eye color? "I... It's a really long story." I say looking around in awe. When I look back at the male elf, I can't help but feel like I've met him before or something. He seems familiar. "Have we met before?" I ask him with a frown but he just returns the frown as he says "I think I'd remember you... Where are you from?"