Chapter 56 - Looking For Li Heya

Madam Li had noticed her daughter was a little off during the meeting ealier, so she had invited her to her room after. While there, she talked about Hoy and Joreen and the 'conspiracy theories' surrounding the two before talking about Heya herself. She asked her how the party went last night and as expected, Heya blew it off, saying she had fun which was a lie because she heard Heya had sat on the same table with Liang , his fiancee and her brother, also, Heya had left early without joining any of the games or partying like her mates.

Her daughter's forced cheerfulness began to make her very worried. She would have thought she was overthinking things or her worries were unfounded had her husband not made mention of the exact same thing. 

She hadn't been the best mother to Heya while she was growing up, but she was willing to do her best now until she was sure her daughter was happy. With that in mind, she went to Heya's room. She wanted to speak with her daughter again to be sure her daughter wasn't slowly falling into depression just like she was suspecting. 

Heya had mentioned she wanted to go to bed since she didn't get enough sleep last night but to her surprise, Heya wasn't inside her room. She knocked several times but got no response. Also called but it went to voicemail. 

Maybe she was having fun with Yan Shen? Even though he wasn't the best person for her at this point considering his relationship with the other two people, they wouldn't mind it if he was able to take Heya's mind away from Zhu Liang. 

But after taking only a few steps towards the beginning of the hallway, she saw Yan Shen approaching alone. 

He wasn't with her. In fact, he was even going to see Heya so he was a bit surprised when he heard she wasn't in. Even though he hadn't known her for a long time, he knew she was an indoor person. 

"Maybe I should ask my sister?" He offered before knocking on Suyin's door. When Suyin opened the door, he did a double take. It looked like she had been crying and had slept off in the process. Her hair was a mess and so was her make up. 

She apologized for her looks when she noticed Heya's mother was also there. She had thought it was just her brother. 

She confirmed Heya wasn't inside with her and the last time she saw her, she was entering inside her room. Madam Li suddenly began to panic but she tried to reason Heya was okay somewhere. She hadn't by chance done anything stupid because she was depressed right? She didn't want to think about that. Maybe she was just having fun by herself or with one of the others. 

Shen promised to come see Suyin later to know what was wrong with her. He thought it would be rude to leave Madam Li all by herself when the woman looked really worried. 

She decided to place a call across to everyone. She called one by one but they all had the same answer, they hadn't seen her since after the family meeting. 

"Maybe she's enjoying the view outside?" Shen suggested. Heya was a grown woman so he couldn't understand why her mother was panicking. Maybe this was the reason why she liked to lock herself in because her family was like this?

"We should check outside? Maybe she is there right?" She sounded hopeful. She hoped her daughter was in the ship somewhere. 

Joreen and Reen had offered to look around for Heya. With Shen's help also, she had the feeling something positive would turn out. 

Meanwhile....

Heya was still sleeping in Liang's arms. He cuddled her with her back to him so she thought Liang had fallen asleep since he was quiet for a while until she heard him ask, 

"Have you been feeding well?" 

"Uh?" 

"You don't look healthy." 

He stretched out his hand to serve as a pillow for her while he didn't let go of her waist, pulling her back closer to his chest.

"What are you saying? I'm still on the big side so...."

"That is different, Li Heya." He cut her off. 

"You can be big doesn't mean you are healthy. You have been trying to lose weight by cutting down your meals unhealthily?" He asked.

Heya was surprised he would able to guess such things about her. How did he know? A lot of people rarely took note or knew things like that about her because to them all, she was plus sized. Healthy or not was none of their business. 

"You can no longer talk?" He asked. 

"Do not try to mock me. There is no crime in wanting to lose weight once in a while." 

"I am not mocking you Li Heya. And yes, there is no crime in losing weight but it is a crime when it involves you." 

"What do you mean?" She tried to turn so she could see his face but he held her in place. 

"You love yourself the way you are. We both know being slim doesn't suit you at all. But you are doing it because you let what people say get to you. Just eat whatever you want to eat. Go to the gym and burn whatever calories you can without overdoing it, and keep looking pretty like this. I mean... I like holding you like this and feeling your presence. Imagine you were skinny. It would feel like no one is here." 

Heya laughed. She laughed because it was funny. He was also laughing with her, but there were tears in her eyes. This reminded her of the reason she loved him.

He always made her feel good about herself. In fact, if there was someone who wanted her to remain the way she was and told her everyday that she was pretty, it was him. Back then, she thought he didn't have any reason to lie to her. 

The first time a boy showed interest in her, he simply did that on his family's orders because they needed something from her brother so after her encounter with Jin Cearo, she didn't trust guys. That was the first time the little self esteem she was budding, crashed completely to the floor. She was just about to come out into the world when she realised the boy had played her. Then she met Zhu Liang next. He was really direct that he reminded her of her older brother and for some reason, he gave off a playboy vibes like her older cousin. But after thinking about it for long, he didn't have any reason to lie to her about liking her. His family was also influential so what could they possibly want from her family? There were a lot of pretty women almost at every occasion they met but he only approached her. 

So why did she begin to doubt him after they started dating? Why didn't she believe he loved her. 

"Are you crying?" He asked in alarm. He let go of her waist and sat up. She buried her face on the sheets and cried. She didn't want him to see her like this. Damn it! Why was she always soft whenever it concerned him?

"Did I... say something wrong? I'm.. sorry." He said while touching her upper arm to get her to look at him but she refused. His concern only made her feel worse. 

She felt terrible. 

And she felt that way because she didn't want him to be together with Yan Suyin anymore. She wanted him to be with her. That was her being selfish and wicked to someone who thought of her as a friend but she couldn't help it and that was why her cries grew louder. 

"Hey! Please you have to tell me what I said wrong so I can be particular about my apology. Was it... because I said I liked holding you because I could feel your presence? I... didn't mean you were fat or something or had a big tummy because I..." 

He sounded so flustered that Heya could not help but laugh even though she was crying. She felt bad for putting him through so much mental stress when he was already sick so she sat up while cleaning her eyes with her hands. 

"Are you okay? One moment you are laughing and the next you are crying... do I need to be worried about your mental health?" He asked with concern. 

"I'm sorry for making you worried. I am fine."

"Don't be silly. You are not fine. Talk to me. I should be able to help you with whatever is going on with you."

'So can you break up with Suyin and be with me instead? I promise to treat you better. I will not doubt you and will love you.'

He suddenly touched her face while looking at her with eyes filled with sadness and longing. 

Maybe he understood what she wanted to say when he looked at her face, or maybe not. But he didn't push her for an answer. He just touched her cheek while brushing off the residue of tears away from her face. 

Heya leaned into his warm touch unconsciously. She wished they could remain like that, just staring into each other's eyes and not minding anything else going on in the world. But this wasn't a fairy tale.

This was reality. 

And reality came crashing in when the door was suddenly opened.