Chapter 175 - Dreams Of Unknown Emotions

Falling into the depths of slumber once more, it wasn't long before he reached a different state of awareness. A weightless sensation came over him as he slowly opened his eyes to the realm of dreams--meeting with scenery of fluffy goldness, circulating around him, holding him within the embrace of these gilded clouds. 

"This again, huh?"

Ren ran his fingers through the empty form of these majestic clouds, though they held no solid form--brushing his hand through them garnered a warmth that sent a ticklish comfort through his nerves. 

"It's my inner world, isn't it? This is all somehow part of my innate ability, I think…"

He found it hard to reach any sort of logical conclusion while in this state, his own mind running on minimum power while attempting to rest. 

Anytime he felt he was about to make sense of something, it all became fuzzy to him. Letting out a sigh, he decided to accept the nature of this mindscape--relieving himself to the comforting bed of the nebula. 

It felt as if his eyes were only closed for a minute before a sharp yell reached directly into his left ear, jolting him. 

It was no more than a few seconds after he allowed his eyelids to shut, he believed, but something already desired for him to wake up. 

"Ren!"

Can't a guy get some sleep? Ren complained. 

"Ren!"

This time the yell was accompanied by his body being shaken by his shoulders, finally forced out of his dream state as his eyes shot open. 

There was no room in his heart to be angry at this abrasive awakening as his eyes met with the source of it all--those damp, azure gems that met with his own eyes had overpowered all other feelings under his skin. 

"Iris…"

As soon as her name left his lips, the hands on his shoulders transferred to his cheeks, cupping them as she looked at the young man as if confirming it was really him. 

"Iris?..."

He said her name again, this time a bit confused as she held his cheeks, feeling a slight blush come over his cheeks--further deepened by the fact she likely could feel the warmth coming over his now pink cheeks. 

Looking into her eyes in that moment of quietness, it felt as if he was looking into a reflection--that worry in her eyes washed away as utter relief replaced it; shining over her diamonds with a glisten of restrained tears. 

Her hands are soft, Ren thought. 

Compared to the rough, malicious embrace that Purgatory held for him, the gentle touch of her pale, supple fingers was all he could think about at that moment. There was no ego in his heart, no shame or embarrassment felt--before the girl he longed to see again, he didn't hide any part of himself, none of his vulnerabilities. 

Seeing her simply exist; dainty yet larger than the world itself in his eyes—the electric tingle in his heart didn't waver. 

"It's really you…Ren, what happened?"

It wasn't complete happiness displayed in her smile, one look at the young man was enough to tell that the journey towards this reuniting wasn't one free of obstacles. She ran her thin, uncalloused fingers through the messy, colorless locks of his, still looking at his eyes. 

The wounds that scaled his body, wrapped in bloodied bandages--it wasn't what she was talking about. Of all the injuries she felt herself worrying over, it was the ones not visible to the eye that she knew plagued him the most. 

"Iris…"

He wanted to keep saying her name over and over, but just speaking without bursting into tears was hard enough for him as it is. Not averting his gaze from her own, he could feel his hands trembling. He didn't know why this was, but he couldn't stop it. 

Iris must've noticed this as her hands moved down to hold both of his own, settling down the constant trembling with her warming kindness. 

"I...I looked for you, every day...I never stopped, Iris…"

As he told her this between his shaking lips, he looked down as the recent, vibrant memories of his journey so far took the forefront of his mind. 

All of the pain, all of the obstacles, all of the hardships--it was all for this moment. The first question that came to his mind now--was it all worth it? 

Seeing that crown of lapis stroll down her shoulders elegantly yet with such proclamation as if announcing her existence to the world, further fueled by those beautiful gems inhabiting her eyes, all of which held nothing in comparison to the unmatched sweetness of the cherry pink that ever-so-slightly made way onto her cheeks; he had his answer. 

Yes. 

Still, just because pain is something that can be resolved to take, a concept one can prepare themselves for and accept the price--it doesn't mean it doesn't take its toll any lighter. That much was present on her face; as joyful as she was, the state that Ren was in brought its own nuance to her relief. 

"I'm sorry, Ren...I was supposed to be with you, I promised myself I'd protect you…"

From the way she spoke, her voice so brittle it seemed it'd crack from the smallest interference, it sounded as if she believed she already failed. 

"It's not your fault, Iris."

Hearing her clear regret, his own worries were superseded by his desire to comfort her, though only succinctly. After all of this time, the last thing he wanted to do was make the girl he cared for cry. 

My own failure to be at her side caused her enough pain. I won't let you cry anymore for my sake, Iris, Ren thought. 

Badump. Badump. Badump. 

Being so close to her, after being apart for so long, both of them clearly longing for one another--the situation before him finally clicked in Ren's brain. Deducing the vulnerable situation, his heart throbbed with the excitement that should be limited to a prepubescent boy, yet here he was. 

The quietness falling between them, listening only to her soft, warm breaths that pelted against his skin, sent his mind into a mess of static. 

Does she want me to make a move? A kiss? Cheek? Lips? Just thinking about it made Ren's heart pump against his chest as if trying to make the move for him.