Chapter 569: True self

"Plan? What plan?" Aria queried, not quite understanding what Noah had in mind. Although she quite knew of the plan they had come up with to deal with Charles and Jared, she was certain that the one he was talking about did not fall into what they had discussed.

Noah's voice sounded unbelievably dark, sinister even as though he was planning to kill someone, and Aria could not help but shudder even though she herself had blood on her hands.

"Oh one that will kill those bastards who tried to harm you today. I will spare no one. I already have my men tracking the Inspector and the others, and once I find them, they sure would realize what a grave mistake they did." Noah promised, and his evil voice only excited Aria and she too wished to see what her man did usually to his captives and how he tortured them."

"May I accompany you on this?" Aria's voice was soft, too soft that Noah at first assumed that he was overhearing things. But it was only when he heard her plead that he realized that he was hallucinating it and Aria had actually asked him.

"Aria?" Noah's voice was especially cautious, something that Aria had never heard before. He had not said anything other than taking her name. But she had already got her answer, and her face fell immediately.

"Please." She begged. "I would like to see how you handle them." Aria had chosen her words carefully, and for once, Noah did not know why she was this insistent on seeing his monstrous side which he so badly wanted to keep away from her.

Although his girl had killed people before and would do so if required in the future, Noah did not wish to pull her towards what he was into. It was a completely dark abyss, one that could potentially consume one's mind like his.

Not only he, even his friends Joshua and Ian shared the same sentiments as him. They were not innocent, never were they. They killed people, tortured them, extracted blood from them until the monster in them was satisfied. And only this way could they curb their anger and stop it from consuming them whole. And only this way, could they stop from going berserk.

Compared to him, Aria was definitely innocent. She had no knowledge of how bad he could be when irked, and he wished to keep it that way for life. He only wanted her to know what he could do for he did not wish to lie to her ever. But was unwilling to show them to her and taint her innocence.

Noah's delay in response made Aria bite her lips. "I got it." Though she was hurt that he was hiding his true self from her, she understood what his intentions were. So, she did not hold onto it, allowing him to have the final say in this. It did not matter if she saw the true devil in him. All that mattered was she loved him and he loved him equally or even more.

Noah noticed her dejected tone and he sighed softly, running his free hand through his hair in frustration. He did not know how to explain his feelings to her in this matter. Yet, he knew he had to try and make her understand his stance.

"Aria, I am sorry. I cannot show you what I am. I can be more horrible than you can ever imagine and I am worried, actually scared. I am terrified that it might frighten you. You, my darling, are what I need in my life. I cannot allow you to see that dark part of me, not now. Not ever."

"I understand, Noah. You do not have to apologize for it. You are you irrespective of how horrible you could be, and I love you. It does not matter to me, though I am disappointed that you did not trust me enough to show this part of you, I will not force into this. I clearly know what is holding you down for that was how even I had felt before you found the part of me which nobody but Maggie knew about."

Aria did not hide how she was feeling currently, showing him her deepest thoughts, the ones that she had never told anyone. He was the man she loved, and he had every right to know what she wished and wanted. But he also had to know what she wanted and how much she cared for him.

Showing his true self to her was his choice just like how she had chosen to do so out of respect and love towards him, though the timing of her revelation was completely not in her hands. That was not how she had intended to tell him about herself.

Aria did expect him to be transparent with her. But if he was unwilling, she understood it too. Everybody had their fears, and Noah's fear was his dark side, even more than losing Aria after pulling her with him into the dark side.

"So you have nothing to apologize for. Are you done with your meeting?" Aria changed the topic deftly.

"Yes, for now. Although I still have another an hour later." Noah too did not go further into the topic, even though his mind was already filled with what Aria had said.

"Hmm, Ivy tells me that you will not be visiting the agency any time soon due to your work and have pushed her to be the mediator between Dad and the others."

Noah smiled, recalling how Ivy had almost wanted to beat him to death for putting her through this. He had forced her to be in the spotlight, making it quite difficult for the girl who had never liked being in one. He had definitely pushed her from her comfort zone, and for the first time, he regretted what he did. But soon, his regret vanished when he realized his intentions for doing so.

"I think I owe her an apology," Noah said in all sincerity that Aria did not have any words to say. "I should not have made this decision without consulting her."

Aria's eyes narrowed and she looked at Ivy, who was lost in her phone. "Why do I feel that there is something more to this than it looks?"

"Because there is. I will explain it to you when the time is right. For now, it is best that Ivy is in the dark. Although nothing much would happen if she knows about my intentions, it is best she stays out of it. I will make it up to her somehow."

Aria was just about to ask more when the door opened and a nurse came running in, startling everyone inside. "Dr. West, it's an emergency. The patient in bed nine in the general ward is having a heart attack."

"Noah, I have to go. I will call you later." Aria did not even wait for his response and ended the call while Noah did not hold her back. He had already heard the nurse's words.

Noah's hands dropped to his sides as he stared out of the glass window. Even though the street was bustling with life, his gaze and mind did not register any of it. His mind was still reeling all that Aria had told him. 'I am sorry, Aria. I really am. I will show you the true me someday. But right now. I just need a little more time to muster my courage. Please be patient until then.'