Chapter 13

“Oh, Dad. Ugh…“

“Rubette!”

Barely holding on due to my blurred vision, I instinctively hugged Dad’s neck.

Dad’s body stiffened due to shock.

‘Did he hate me? Does that mean that he thought of me as a shame to our family as well? Was he forced to keep me in just because I’m his biological daughter… Is that it?’

Those are the thoughts that I would have never thought of since I‘ve always had high self-esteem, suddenly echoed like screams in my head.

Rubette’s body remembered the fragments of the emotions that she suffered and suffered throughout her life.

“Oh, Dad…”

“……”

In exchange for absorbing Rubette’s life, I couldn’t free myself from her feelings.

It was like an instinct that the body reacted before the mind could control it.

“I, I, I, know that you don’t love me. I know, but…”

“What?”

‘I know very well that they don’t love me.’ 

Thinking about it made me scared and shivered all over.

“But Dad please, even just for a moment. I, right now…. Can you please not shake me off, even just for a second can you hold on….”

“….”

Nevertheless, the days when I swallowed my tears back, alone because I wanted to be loved.

Due to instinct, the emotions that were accumulated are slowly reflected on my body.

“Just a little bit more. I will get better once I fall asleep, so until then can we stay like this…”

As I smelled my father’s scent, my heart, which was beating rapidly, started to calm down little by little.

This was also very sad. Knowing the fact that the only thing that can make Rubette stable was the comfort provided by her family of the same blood family.

“……”

I desperately grabbed his neck and hung on it, in case my father pushed himself away from me, fearing that the shock would make it difficult to breathe again.

Fortunately, Dad didn’t loosen his arm for a very long time until I calmed down.

***

(3rd Person POV)

Bang!

Just How long was it? The door to the Duke Diollus’s bedroom, which hardly ever had ever been opened from the inside, suddenly opened.

In Leonard’s arms, as he strides across the hallway, Rubette was cradled with her back showing.

“Wait, what? Did the Duke finally come out of his room?”

“And why is the Princess…”

The maids that the Duke passed by bowed their heads, as they doubted their eyes.

Leonard, who was walking nonstop, came to a halt when he encountered someone.

“Leonard?”

A beautiful woman with gorgeous blonde hair and blue eyes caught the audience’s attention.

She was the eldest wife of the godfather of the Duke, and his stepmother, Molga, who was only a year older than Leonard.

Molga, who seemed as if she just returned home, ran into Leonard as if she were going towards his room, was very surprised.

“Hey, what’s going on? What’s wrong with Rubbette?”

“It looks like she’s hurt. I’m on my way to the clinic.”

“Oh my gosh! ….What do you mean by that? Why all of a sudden?”

Molga, who had become contemplative, hurriedly tried to look at Rubette’s face. But Leonard easily avoided her attempt to touch Rubbette, closing his eyes as if he was annoyed.

“Later, and goodbye.”

His voice was cold as usual, but he sounded as if he was embarrassed and worried in the midst of the rush.

“Don’t do that, Leonard. You can go back to your room. Don’t force yourself to do things that you don’t normally do.”

Molga, who was holding back Leonard, called the maid beside him in a hurry.

“What are you looking at? Hurry up and get Rubette a…”

“No need for that.”

Leonard frowned and shook Molga’s arm.

“I’ll take care of her, so don’t worry about it and just take a rest.”

“No, wait!”

Without a second thought, Leonard strode away and disappeared at the end of the hallway.

Molga, who was stamping her feet, with her lips biting anxiously, suddenly wiped the expression on her face when his back had completely disappeared.

Soon, the beautiful face like a doll tilted her head slightly.

“’Damn it. What kind of situation is this?”

***

(3rd Person POV)

Rubette, who was lying down in cold sweat, was half unconscious and muttering words like a moan.

The broken words were hard to understand, but they could be heard clearly in Leonard’s ears.

“You hate me….”

“I’m sorry”

“Please don’t throw me away.”

“It appears to be a traumatic disorder.”

“…What? A disability?”

The physician who looked at Rubette’s condition made a diagnosis.

The young physician’s name is Aaron Muller.

He was recruited by Rubette from a Hospital in the capital, to look after Leonard’s physical condition, and was quite skilled as well.

Leonard didn’t really like the diagnosis pertaining to disability, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.

Leonard asked sharply.

“What are you talking about?”

“I have experience treating patients with these kinds of symptoms several times now. Usually, after experiencing a shocking or terrifying situation, they are caught up in the memories of that time.”

“…..”

“The disease manifests itself in many ways. Like the Princess now, she often suffers from dreams or recollections of those days.”

“A shocking or frightening situation? How could a child who had been living in the dark at home go through such a situation?”

“It’s hard to guess because I don’t know everything about the Princess. However, among the patients I have seen, there are soldiers who have seen the brutal scenes of the battlefield and returned…”

“……”

“…Sometimes they often have memories of being abused both physically and mentally as a child.”

Leonard paused at Aaron’s words.

“Did the Princess seem sensitive or express anger? Or any negative thoughts… Ahm, is there any case that she was rejected or abandoned?”

Leonard lowered his head stiffly and stared blankly at Rubette’s face.

“I fell on purpose to die.”

Those words about the time that she fell into the pond on purpose.

Although she said that it was only a joke, he didn’t feel any humor in it and it wasn’t shown on Rubette’s expression.

The image of my daughter, who seemed to have experienced a lot, came to mind again. The same look in her eyes shows resentment against indifferent approaches.

“…Yeah. It seems that there was.”

Seeing Leonard’s expression as if he had pointed something out, Aaron nodded his head without asking any further questions.

“Is there any way to treat it?”

“For now, not really. Unfortunately, it is not a disease that can be treated with medication. It is a mental problem, so the Princess needs her own will and with the help of those around her the most, she can heal.”

“How?”

“If it is possible, how about the Duke helping the Princess regarding her treatment?”

“Me?”

“Yes. From what I have known, the powers of your spirit are hallucinations.”

Aaron refers to Leonard’s spirit, the spirit of Illusion.

“Since it is accompanied by tremendous psychological pain while recalling a memory like this, I think it would be a temporary treatment if you plant an illusion to cover up those memories.”

“What Illusion should I show her?”

Aaron pondered for a moment at Leonard’s question and then opened his mouth.

“The daily life that the Princesses wished for? I think anything that most noble ladies of this age would want to have.”

“…..”

Daily life that Rubette wants.

“Just like what other daughters wanted, like eating with their dad, going out to play, complaining like a baby…”

Leonard, who was thinking with his eyes closed, nodded his head slightly.

“Okay, I’ll do that. Thank you so much. Will contact you again once the child’s condition is stable.”

“I understand, Your Grace. And one more thing, hallucinations are a temporary cure. Please create a comfortable environment in a reality where the Princess can be happy.”

After Aaron gave his final advice, he immediately put on his hat and took off with his packed bag.

In the room where only the two of them were left, Leonard stared at Rubette’s face for a long time.

‘An Illusion.’

‘Will that really help this child?’

After his wife died 11 years ago, Leonard spent most of his time, 24 hours a day in an illusion of her.

It’s painful to live and breathe, but it’s not as painful as dreaming.

But after waking up from those illusions, a terrible sense of loss embarrassed him. To fill that void, he resorted to alcohol and fell asleep again…

Repetition of those devastating days.

‘Wouldn’t the temporary illusion bring more pain to her? Since I have to show her a vain dream…’

Leonard stopped pondering.

The circumstances of himself and his daughter, who wanted the illusion of his wife who no longer exists in this world, were different from Rubbette’s case.

Because what Rubette wanted is…

“I wanted to eat with my dad, to go out and play with him, complain to him…”

So even if she wakes up from those fantasies, it’s a kind of situation that can be done in reality.

“…Illusion.”

When Leonard’s low voice resounded in the quiet room, Illusion was summoned.

The spirit with a pure white female body answered while gently swimming in the air.

“Did you call for me, contractor?”

Leonard immediately ordered.

“It looks like my daughter is having a nightmare. Please give her a good dream.”

Illusion stopped at his unusual command and found Rubette lying down.

“If it’s a good dream, what would it be?”

Leonard, who was worried, slowly closed his eyes.

“With her father…”

“Eat, hang out, complain…”

It wasn’t that difficult.

“…With me.”

Leonard pursed his lips and said as he got up.

“A dream where she eats, plays, and whines to her heart’s content.”