95 Celtine dilemma

Now that Harriett seemed to be better, it was Celtine's turn. He let the first girl free from his hug and turned his head towards the other.

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"Celtine what do you think about all this? I didn't even get the time to ask what you and Mable talked about yet. Did it make you feel better?"

The girl reacted slowly, she had some time to recover from the news with all that had happened with Harriett but she was still not fully back to her sense. She couldn't have been more surprised by his announcement.

Stirred by his words, she moved her hand up to her pen and slowly started writing down her thoughts. She wasn't certain of how she was feeling herself but she found that writing it all down helped her make sense of it.

At first, her words didn't seem all that coherent but the more Emp read, the more he came to understand what was passing through her head.

She had spoken with Mable about how she felt and had received surprisingly insightful advises. Mable had shared her own frustrations and they had come to understand the other's problem easily. They both understood what it felt like to not want to disappoint others and how it felt to be raised for a single purpose. They both had a duty to fulfill towards their people, whether it was Celtine's tribe or whatever place the noble family of Mable was in charge of.

With that shared experience, it was easier for them to talk about what was bothering them as they had similar problems.

Celtine told him about how she had felt like she was abusing his goodwill to gain all that she wanted and how she still wanted to go back home once she had regained her wings and voice. Mable had helped her understand that it wasn't the case, it was just how Emp was. It was all his own choice, he helped her of his volition and did not expect her to give anything in return. He couldn't help it that he wanted to help her, whether she loved him in return or not.

She came to understand that she didn't have to feel guilt about this all. Whatever she did in the future, everyone involved wanted the best for the others, none had any intention of extorting anything from the other and they all acted on their own will. Feeling guilty about this was just as silly as feeling guilty about the wind blowing the way she needed by coincidence.

She didn't feel as bad anymore but was still saddened. She had told Mable and now him that she understood that Emp couldn't follow her back home and how hurt she felt when it was spelled out so clearly to her right after he said he liked her.

Knowing she felt attraction towards him but also knowing that she couldn't have him was a very displeasing thing to feel. She couldn't help but feel awkward every time she saw him and that was why she shut herself in the room.

Mable didn't have any good advice to give on this but just talking it out with her and being told that this was a very normal way to feel had helped her a lot too. Emp didn't know what they told each other exactly but Celtine had found enough strength to meet him again.

Then, he had told them about Calla and him the day right after and it shook her again.

She was genuinely happy for him because he was clearly feeling elated about this whole thing but at the same time, she couldn't help but feel disappointed. Somewhere in her heart, she had still believed that she could somehow make it work but now she felt as if she had lost him for good. She felt it was unfair to tell a girl you liked her and then marry another right after.

On this point, Emp felt he would get told a very similar thing later by Mable.

She felt regrets and relief in equal part. She didn't have to torture herself with her feelings for him since he would now really belong to another girl and could put them to rest. On the other hand, she regretted that she had not done anything sooner. Two years was a very long time, if she had really wanted him to herself, she should have told him so long before this point. It was silly of her to think that nothing would ever move and everything would always stay the same.

It was the same everywhere after all, she was certain that all the others her age were already married back in the tribe. Once she came back, she expected that she would be by far the oldest person to be single there.

She regretted what she could not have but knew she would have equally regretted if it had been reversed and she had lost the other side instead. She was relieved that she didn't have to struggle with herself anymore yet her heart was still pained.

Reading all those words, Emp felt really pained as well. He didn't want her to give up, he didn't want her to put her feelings to rest. Her whole explanation made him very emotional. He understood what she meant when she said she felt both happy and sad because he was the same. He couldn't be happier that Calla professed her love to him with this offering of Holia but at the same time, Celtine made him want to cry.

"Mable is right that I would never force you to do anything and I did already tell you that if you wanted to leave, I would find a way to free you from the seal. But, I am very... disappointed with your conclusion."

<Why would you be disappointed?>

Celtine seemed a bit angry about his comment, she gave him those blaming eyes saying: "what right do you have to be disappointed?"

"Because it's the truth that I love you. Even if you think this is wrong or even if it seems incredibly selfish or even ugly I can't help it, just like Mable said. I want you to love me back and I know you do. I feel so... frustrated, not about you but for you instead."

<What other conclusion should I have reached according to you? There's nothing else, I'll have to go once I get back what the humans stole from me! Your race did this! I never asked to be here, I could have never met you and lived a happy life like I was supposed too! Instead I was tortured so bad I wanted to die and now you're ruining my heart too!>

She wrote this all sharply, feeling aggravated but Emp felt just as annoyed as her. He couldn't disagree more with what she was writing. His voice rose to meet the intensity of his feelings.

"How is that ruining your heart? How is my desire for your happiness worse than your plans for your own future! You just admitted that you like me as well but you want to go back to your tribe where you'll end up alone! You wrote it yourself just now, by the time you get back, there will be no one left for you to pair with and you want me to just watch you stay alone from over here. How can I accept that without being saddened?

I understand that you think this kind of thing is gross and you don't want to share your lover, you are perfectly in our right to not give your heart to me but I do also have the right to feel disappointed about it!

I just wish you would tell me how I can make it all work instead of giving up on your own happiness."

She shook her head with a pained expression.

<There is no way, this isn't how the world works.>

"Why not? People aren't supposed to regrow limbs either yet we already found a way. You would force yourself to live in melancholy because your desires seemed unreachable? Love asked this of me, would it be worse or better than trying, she said. My answer was that I would always do what I wanted rather than what others wanted me to do. I told the Same to Mable, this is not about what her father wants or about what your tribe needs, it's about what YOU want.

I am Emperor, I was born to rule the land. I will take over Steelwoods and all of the tribesland if I have to. Just tell me how to fix it and I am willing to remake the world to make you happy. I will make the wars between the tribes and the empire a thing of past, make us all into one. Once there are no more sides and I get everyone to be together, will you be willing to consider my love for you or is that still not enough?"

Celtine seemed very shocked to hear his words and was forced back a bit from his fervor. As an answer, she only managed to write down a few words.

<I don't know.>

"That's a maybe then, I'm fine with that, I'll do my best."

Harriett laughed merrily from the side even though Emp had been speaking harshly.

"This is great, master has a lot of ambition. What's funny is that I remember saying something similar to her two years ago. I told her that maybe she would be able to convince master to help protect her tribe. In the end, she didn't even need to try, master came up with something even better by himself.

You know Celtine, kingdoms and empires often give princesses to the other side to seal an alliance. That's because they are less likely to turn against each other if they share the same family. Who knows, as future ruler of your tribe, you might be forced to marry Master to seal the deal."

Harriett found it really funny but Celtine was just at a loss for words.

"As long as you wish me to, I will do my very best to find a way and make everything happen like you want. You only need to write the words."

<Why?> She wrote with trembling hands.

"Do I really need another reason? I just love you. Even if you don't accept me in the end, I will not regret spending all those efforts for you because I don't think my feelings will ever change. I will soon be married with Calla. I don't know how that sort of thing works, all I want is to keep those I hold dear close to me. Hopefully you, Harriett and Mable can get along with her. For any and all of you, I will do my best, you only have to tell me your wish once you know."

"What about taking over the empire?" Asked Harriett.

"That, I'm going to do anyway. I made up my mind already."

Love was right at that time, this was the best way to go. To keep those around him safe it was the absolute best. To fix the problems of each of his friends it was the easiest too. What was even the point of being born on this end of the continent if not to do it this way? He even had the advantage of being a Muracier and Chinui said the current emperor wasn't fit to the task. Why not take over then? This was a goal like any other after all.

He'd use this empire to fight off the other and win the bet, he didn't need to start by overthrowing the main target, no one ever said that. he wouldn't need to leave his friends behind if he could just extend his reach across the world.